(Although some would
argue the two are one in the same. I’m yet to decide if I feel like I have a
life outside the circus. I want one, I think, but I can’t imagine a life without
the circus. I can’t imagine a static life. I need movement, I need change, I need
mutability. I need to be able to come and go as I please. I need to be
unattached to physical locations. For the most part the circus gives me that. It
gives me the freedom to explore and see the world. And it gives me familiarity
too. Which is nice amongst the change. To have a constant that follows me with
it. I understand that is somewhat contradictory, to crave stasis amongst
change, but I think it’s true for everyone. We all want something familiar to
follow us through new and different experiences, places and things. But, there’s
still this part of me that wonders what would it be like to live a normal life?
To live in one place. To have a job, in the traditional sense. To own a house,
a car, to have a wife and two point four children and/or a pet. To have grown
up through the school system, playing football down the street. Little things that
I read about or see in films and on the television that I’ll never have. I guess
I’m just curious, really, to see how things could have been different. Anyway,
that was a slightly longer aside than I originally intended, but it just made
me think, you know?)
You see, my family and I get sent ahead of the rest of the
circus - either a day or two ahead or we go out whilst their setting up – and we
stand on street corners and perform. It’s our job to tantalise a crowd, to show
them our skills and to make them wonder what else we can do. Freddie and his
dad used to come with us, but now Freddie does it on his own. Like I said (wrote?)
yesterday, I’ve never met a more charismatic kid, and it’s his job to turn a
watching crowd into an audience big enough to fill a Big Top. We set him up, we
have to pick a space where a large volume of people will walk past, say a high
street or something, but we’ve also got to pick a space where we can get in the
way. A space where if ten or fifteen people stop, they block enough of the way
so other people who want to get through have to slow down and maybe stop and watch
too. Although, we can’t pick a too smaller space, or else we won’t have enough
room to perform and there won’t be enough space for a crowd to gather. It’s pretty
technical stuff, actually (he says, lying).
Anyway. So we draw the crowds, we perform a small set,
mostly just throwing batons around and if anybody in the crowd has anything
weighty enough to throw we’ll toss that around a bit. We’d throw knives and
fire if the councils would allow us – we’ve tried it a couple of times but the
police always notice and intervene, so it’s not really worth it. I do a small
act on a unicycle and mama and papa have this crazy routine all worked out that
they’ve been performing since they were my age. Whilst we’re doing this, Freddie
will walk round the crowd handing out leaflets and selling tickets. His is the
harder job – it’s pretty easy to get somebody (or even a group of some bodies) to
stand around for five, maybe even ten minutes, watching me chuck around balls
and batons and purses, but it’s a damn sight harder to get that person to cough
up a tenner to watch a show. Freddie’s job is to make it seems a worthwhile
amount of money. To be honest, as it is we need tickets to be at least a tenner
a go to break even with the crowds we’re pulling, especially at this time of
year. As I’ve said, I don’t know how anybody can refuse Freddie, once he starts
on the charm offensive – I’ve picked up some of my best moves watching him pull
the crowds, but it can be a struggle to fill the tent.
So that’s how I’ve spent the past two days, standing on a
street corner/ down a high street, freezing my balls off (get it? as in both
juggling balls and my actual balls). So, life in the circus isn’t all fun and
games. We’ve got our first show of the week tonight though. It’s strange that
we’re performing on a Monday, usually we wouldn’t bother, but as its Guy Fawkes
Night too we’ve made a bit of a theme of it and are holding a bonfire party
afterwards for the crowd. Figure we can pull a few more people that way. I should
probably go an practise (not like I haven’t been practising all day or
anything, but Monsieur Loyal hates it if we even get one throw off, and you do
not want to be on the wrong side of him, no matter what day of the week it is),
but I’ll try to update on the evening performance before I turn in for the night.
It should be one to remember.
Au revoir, best wishes, and I hope you enjoyed the show!
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